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Взаимоотношения в России. - Relationships in Russia
Relationships play a very important role in Russia. Perhaps that partly explains their desire to work as a team. Russian people are used to living in society and deciding their problems collectively. And of course Russian people have their own peculiarities of communication.
Russian people often treat associates with caution. They aren’t used to trusting strangers. But if you become a friend of a Russian he’ll do everything that he can for you.
Friendship has a big significance for Russians. They value it very much. The nearest people for them are usually friends from the childhood and university. They can share all their problems with such friends. Russians are always ready to help their nearest. They are often ready to do it notwithstanding their interests. In addition, they don’t require any gratitude in exchange. If you say to them “Thanks” for their help then they’ll answer you something like “That’s what friends are for”. Betrayal is always condemned. Having lost the trust of Russian you’ll hardly be able to get it back again.
Russians usually establish family at 22-25 years. Men sometimes get married a little later. By the way this figure notably started to move towards older ages. The reason is often because of education, career etc.
Traditionally the man is the head of the family. Although women often take this role. All duties in the house are usually clearly assigned. There is woman’s and man’s work in every house. The woman usually cooks, washes, cleans etc. And man repairs, twists bulbs, carries all the family on the car. Earning money is another duty of the family father.
There are usually no more than 2 children in a family. And a family raising 3 children is considered to be have many children and gets the right to some state benefits.
Parents help children selflessly. Moreover they help them even if their sons and daughters are adults themselves. To make this situation clearer let’s use an example. In some countries parents provide loans to their children for education. When those finish institute and start earning money themselves then they give back the debt to their parents. In Russia it’s not normal. Relatives would never treat each other so. Such behavior here is a sign of greed. And even of mistrust. Both parents and children must help each other. That is natural. And there’s no necessity to set it in law.
In Russia, people don’t like unnecessary formalities and documents. It’s considered that close people can decide such problems without any strangers. For that reason there are a few people in Russia who make up a marriage contract.
Grandmothers often take on raising the children themselves. Russian grandmathers sometimes live more for their grandchildren than for themselves. This pleases them because they really love their grandsons and granddaughters and are always ready to sit with them. This of course helps parents alot. They get free time and can devote it to relaxation. The only reason for concern here can be the capability for a grandmother to spoil her grandchildren. Often she is so kind that just can’t say them no.
Also there is a stereotype in Russia – a man dislikes his mother-in-law. The same in the contrary. It’s considered that mother-in-law never agrees with the opinion of her son-in-law. Besides sometimes she even tries to create havoc. There are hundreds of jokes on that topic which are popular in Russia. Though it worth noticing that this stereotype is more likely not to work. Usually a mother-in-law and a son-in-law have quite warm and friendly relationships.
Distant relatives also get together often. This happens on holidays for example. Sometimes they overcome tremendous distances to meet. It’s common to bring with them presents to house hosts. Relatives gather at a wide table full of different meals. Sometimes there aren’t enough chairs in the house. And this problem is usually decided by asking the neighbours. This is considered normal in Russia.
Actually people usually know their neighbors here. Lots of them even are friends with them. It’s very convenient because there’s always an opportunity to ask neighbors for help.
The attitude to older people is valid. Children are told that they must help the elderly. For example if a pastern came in to the bus it’s common here to concede her a sitting place. And if you don’t do it then you risk getting general condemnation. And not only mental but also a verbal one.
Relationships between citizens and government are interesting. Russian people often don’t associate themselves and their government. Moreover they don’t usually expect much good from it. But this problem is hard to solve because historical experience, unfortunately, doesn’t completely allow country citizens to trust the government.
It’s hard to say how to find a way to approach a Russian. He just needs to feel that he can trust you and then be sure you’ve got his good attitude. Besides don’t be surprised if a Russian doesn’t smile at you very often. That absolutely doesn’t mean that he treats you badly. Some people also think that you can adjust relationships with Russian if you drink a couple of vodka-glasses with him. There’s a share of truth here. Besides such your behavior lets him feel that you aren’t afraid to open up to him, that his company is pleasant to you and sometimes even that you respect him.Show in Russian and English
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